


Falling

by ashxtodd



Series: SemiShira Week 2020 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, Confessions, Falling in Love through the course of 3 years, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Kawagoshi in one line, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Self-Worth Issues, like very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26677750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashxtodd/pseuds/ashxtodd
Summary: What he didn't expect was an ash blond with frosted tips to rush into the gym panting, smiling in their direction. "Hey, I'm Sem-" He tried to say, only to be cut off by him tripping on his own shoelaces causing him to get knocked off balance and inevitably falling. "-mi." He finished.Idiot, Shirabu thought, only for him to add,but an overly attractive and hot one, a second later, causing his brain to short circuit for a moment.5 times Shirabu thought Semi wasn't as bad as he thought. The one time he did something about the tension between them (kinda).OR: Shirabu realizing what love is through the course of three years.(Ft. best friend in the world Kawanishi)SemiShira Week Day 1: First kiss/Confessions
Relationships: Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Series: SemiShira Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941178
Comments: 12
Kudos: 160
Collections: Semishira Week 2020





	Falling

Shirabu should've known he was fucked the day he decided that he wasn't going to do romance when he goes to Shiratorizawa - maybe get a nice, intelligent, well-mannered partner by the end of it, but that wasn't what he was going to focus on. He was going to focus on his studies and earn himself a regular position on the volleyball team. He kept reminding himself that when he entered Shiratorizawa, all the way up to when he entered the volleyball gym. He introduced himself to the other senior players, confident in his abilities. 

What he didn't expect was an ash blond with frosted tips to rush into the gym panting, smiling in their direction. "Hey, I'm Sem-" He tried to say, only to be cut off by him tripping on his own shoelaces causing him to get knocked off balance and inevitably falling. "-mi." He finished. _Idiot_ , Shirabu thought, only for him to add, _but an overly attractive and hot one_ , a second later, causing his brain to short circuit for a moment. 

"SemiSemi, when you said you'd make a dramatic entrance, I didn't expect this. But I'm not disappointed." A redhead second year said, clutching his stomach as he laughed. 

Semi ignored the redhead, as he quickly got up and straightened himself. "Um sorry about that, I'm Semi Eita, second year, setter." The boy introduced himself and Shirabu couldn't bring himself to meet his eye the entire day, too embarrassed by his previous thought. 

Needless to say, Shirabu Kenjoru, was so fucked from that point onward. 

* * *

**ONE**

Shirabu established quickly that Semi Eita was the most obnoxious person on their team (despite their team consisting of Tendou fucking Satori, God dammit). His first impression had obviously left a distaste in Shirabu's mouth (because he most definitely did not think he was attractive, just no), but he later realized just how bad Semi Eita actually was. It's not about his volleyball skills - they were most definitely excellent (especially considering he got into the school with a sports scholarship), it was just him as a person. 

Most people liked Semi. They liked him a lot. But for some reason, there was just something about him that ticked him off and made him want to strangle him. He told his issue to his roommate and teammate, Kawanishi, but he was useless. He told him that maybe he shouldn't be so passive aggressive towards the second year, but it wasn't like it was on purpose. Whenever Semi talked to him, he short circuited and said shit. 

But despite all that, he was his senior and Shirabu couldn't do anything about that, except watch from the side as Semi prepared for his serve. Shiratorizawa being on match point. Shirabu didn't get to play a lot during the match, but he cherished the moments he did get to toss to their ace. 

He saw Semi lick his lips in concentration, as the referee blew the whistle. Semi tossed the ball up in the air, doing his run up and jumping. He hit the ball with such power that Shirabu almost shivered. But he didn't. Because before they knew it, the ball had hit the ground and Shiratorizawa had won against Aoba Johsai 3-1. They were going to nationals.

Shirabu didn't know what happened or what demon possessed him in that moment, but he ran. He ran towards Semi in joy. He practically leapt into Semi's arms and the older allowed it. 

He didn't care that his legs were around Semi, clinging on to him like a koala, because he was too God damn happy because they were going to nationals. It shouldn't have been surprising. Shiratorizawa always went to nationals, but this was his first nationals. He felt a sense of pride in knowing that this was his team. 

Semi hugged him back instantly, wrapping his arms around his waist, as he pulled him so close that there was barely any space between them. He pulled Shirabu into him so tightly that he was left breathless. A split second thought crossed his mind, _this must be how heaven feels like_. He wasn't thinking about going to nationals, it was how the bruising hug Semi was giving him, made his insides melt and he couldn't find himself to mind. 

He couldn't find himself to mind the fact that he was crying into Semi's shoulders. Because Semi didn't let go either. 

He didn't want to let go. The warmth he felt in his belly and all around him from hugging his upperclassman, felt nice. He wanted to stay like this forever. _Maybe he isn't that bad after all_ , he thought. 

Shirabu had never thought about hugging Semi before. He suddenly started to question why not. 

Eventually Shirabu and Semi had to pull away, because it wasn't just them on the court and they were known as the "sworn enemies" of sorts. They had a reputation to live up to. They pulled away and hugged their other teammates, but they weren't the same. 

Semi Eita gave great hugs, he concluded.

Afterwards when he was confronted by Kawanishi and Tendou about the hug between him and Semi, he flat out refused its existence. He scoffed and told them Semi was a pain in the ass. Sadly for him, they had video evidence from the live match and Shirabu told them to fuck themselves. 

* * *

**TWO**

Shirabu sighed, as he took a sip of the coca cola in the red cup he was holding. It was the celebration party for going to nationals again and right before the third years retired. Shirabu had thought he would get used to the parties Yamagata threw after he attended the first one. Boy was he wrong. 

Every time Yamagata did something different. This time, Shirabu was pretty sure that this time he teamed up with Tendou. Especially considering the random anime cutouts placed around the gym. How did the school even allow that?

From the corner of his eye, Shirabu could see Tendou trying to subtly pour some conspicuous liquid from a black flask into the punch. Shirabu merely sighed. He learned first hand not to drink the punch after last time when he got drunk. How did the school even allow them to use the gym again for that party? Shirabu thought. 

Since the last time, Shirabu kept his distance from the punch and stuck to the other soft drinks present in the room. 

The party had all the volleyball club members but Shirabu was pretty sure many other people decided to join in too, if the crowd was anything to go by. 

His best friend (and probably his only friend in the volleyball club), Kawanishi was nowhere in sight. He had gone to the dancefloor fifteen minutes ago, telling Shirabu he was going to find someone and come back in five minutes. _Bullshit_ , Shirabu thought, as he downed the drink Kawanishi gave him to hold for him.

He could’ve been doing so many other things instead of being here. So with that, he sighed, walking towards the door to get the hell out of there. Shirabu was so done - if not a bit hungry too. 

As soon as he got outside, the cool air hit his face, which caused him to let out a deep breath. He stood right there, staring at the sky, not knowing what to do or where to go. He suddenly felt lost. 

"Didn’t expect you to be out here." A voice brought him out of his thoughts. Shirabu turned around, surprised (and a bit annoyed) at the fact that it was his senpai, Semi. 

“I should be the one saying that to you.” He replied dully, as he blankly stared at his senpai. 

“Thought you’d be with Kawanishi.” Semi commented, as he completely ignored Shirabu’s other remark. Not that it mattered.

“He ran off doing god knows what,” He sighed, sitting down on the steps. Semi hummed in response. “What about you, _Semi-san?_ ” Shirabu said, putting special emphasis on the ‘Semi-san’ because he knew how much it pissed off the older male. But for once, Semi didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered by the younger’s sharp tongue. 

That seemed to bother Shirabu though. Even if just a little bit. “You seem to be the type to enjoy parties, am I right?”

“Most of the time, yeah,” Semi agreed, taking a seat next to Shirabu - though there was still a significant amount of space between them. They both stared at the sky, not sparing a glance at each other. “But Tendou spiked all the drinks and...I just don’t wanna go in that crowd right now.” The ash blonde admitted. Before Shirabu could reply with some witty or sarcastic comment, his stomach grumbled loudly, causing him to flush slightly in embarrassment. 

Semi then turned his head to look at him with an amused smile. “You hungry?” 

“Maybe a little bit.” Shirabu mumbled, still not looking at his senpai. Although the flush still remained. 

“Then go get something to eat, dumbass.” Semi said, but his words lacked malice - he said it almost softly, endearingly even.

“The food at the party is ass and I don’t wanna go to the kitchen to make something.” Shirabu grumbled, bringing his knees up to hug them. 

Semi stayed silent and Shirabu thought (or hoped rather), that Semi would leave him alone. But instead, he started talking, “Can you run?” 

Shirabu turned his head to Semi, as he blinked at him disbelievingly. What type of question was that? He thought. Obviously he could run, they did running drills everyday during practice. "What?"

"I'll take that as a yes," Semi said, grinning. "I know a diner nearby that has amazing food." The ash blonde explained. There was something about the way that he spoke that kept Shirabu on edge. Yet he was intrigued. 

Shirabu merely blinked at him. "It's like midnight, the gates are closed. We can't go outside." Which was true, no one was allowed to leave the campus after ten. Not unless they had special permission from the school - which you had to get beforehand. So realistically, Semi was out of his mind.

"Oh yes we can." Semi replied, grabbing his wrist and pulling him with him. 

"What-" Shirabu couldn't even manage to protest or yank his hand back, as Semi displayed his strength, by running across campus, dragging Shirabu along with him. Shirabu knew he couldn't do anything against his senpai, so he accepted his fate and internally said goodbye to his friends and family if worst case scenario Semi murdered him - all of a sudden he regretted being so rude to Semi all the time; he didn't want to die so young. 

He still had to become a first string setter, god dammit. He prayed that this wasn’t the end. He hoped Semi wasn’t a murderer. 

Semi came to a stop in front of the wall behind the second year dormitories. Shirabu had never been here but by the looks of it, Semi had - on multiple occasions, at how seemingly comfortable he was with his surroundings and knew how to get here in the first place. 

"Can you climb?" Semi asked. He wasn’t panting like how Shirabu was - surprising considering he was carrying both of their weights. Semi was way too fit for his own good, Shirabu thought. 

"I mean...a little bit?" Shirabu said, sounding more of a question that he would've liked. But then he thought, why was he even entertaining this idea in the first place? 

"I'll give you a boost," Semi decided. 

"Wait wait wait," Shirabu said, as Semi kneeled down. Semi gave him a puzzled look. "You want us to sneak out?" He asked, surprised at the sentiment. When Semi nodded in confusion, Shirabu was even more astonished. “Are you out of your mind?! We could get into serious trouble!” His rational side said. 

"Worst case scenario, we get arrested." Semi shrugged, as if the thought of being arrested served no real threat. 

"How can you say that so nonchalantly?!" Shirabu exclaimed. 

"Look, I've been arrested before, I'll get us out." Shirabu looked at the older male in disbelief, before deciding that he should go along (because he really wanted some food in his stomach), as he made a mental note to ask Semi how, when and why he got arrested. 

He sighed, as he got on his tiptoes to reach the top of the wall. The wall wasn’t that long but it wasn’t small either. He placed one foot on the wall, pushing his body up. That was when Semi’s hands came on his thighs, causing his breath to hitch. But nonetheless, Semi pushed him up, as well he tried to push himself up, and managed to get up.

He circled his leg forwards, trying to sit on the wall. Thankfully he managed to succeed as Semi pushed up. 

“You need help?” Shirabu asked, after comfortably sitting on the wall, looking behind his back to see Semi still on the ground. 

“Nah,” Is the only reply he got and he shrugged. A minute or two later, Semi was seated beside him, as he dangled his legs in the air. 

“Come on.” 

Shirabu was the first one to jump - too competitive to let Semi get down first. He fell on his feet with a mumbled, “ow," escaping his lips. 

Not a second later, Semi landed right next to him. “You okay?” He asked. 

“Of course.” Shirabu mumbled, brushing off the slight dust and dirt from his clothes and arms, tapping his pockets to make sure his phone was still there. 

When he looked up, he realized that they were surrounded by trees with little to no light (only the light coming from campus could be seen). 

Shirabu turned towards Semi, whom he could see slightly in the moonlight - who was hurriedly fumbling with his phones. Not a second later, he switched on the flashlight on his phone, and turned towards the shorter male. 

“Follow me.” Is all the ash blonde said and Shirabu decided, why not? Especially considering there was no turning back now, now that he had followed along so far. 

Shirabu nodded, following closely behind the taller boy, as he started running. _So that was what he meant_ , Shirabu thought, as he made sure not to lose focus or lose sight of Semi. 

After a few minutes of running, they finally got out of the mini-forest and onto a dimly lit sidewalk. They both abruptly stopped running and instead started walking. 

Shirabu panted softly, still following Semi from behind. Now that they were in a lit area, Shirabu could finally properly see his senpai. For someone who was constantly tormented by Tendou about his terrible fashion sense, Semi looked good in the black jeans and button up he wore, Shirabu noticed. 

Frankly, the copper haired boy felt a little underdressed in his blue ripped jeans, graphic T-shirt and converse. Maybe he should’ve followed Kawanishi’s advice and worn something less casual - but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it now. 

“Here we are.” Semi announced, as they walked in front of a diner. 

Shirabu stayed silent, as they went inside. Semi picked a window table and Shirabu didn’t protest. They both took sears across from each other. 

This calm environment between them was new. It was unheard of even. It was common knowledge that Semi and Shirabu were rivals, competing against the position of being first string setter - yet it was way more than that at the same time. There would always be a string of passive-aggressive insults being thrown around whenever they were together.

But this ‘hanging out’ like they were friends was very peculiar. Shirabu didn’t know what to make of it. A part of them enjoyed the insults that were thrown between the two (because it was them. It was a part of who they were), yet a part of him didn’t want to ruin the moment. He wanted to cherish it - but he didn’t know why. 

A waitress came over to their table, smiling awfully too brightly for the time. “Eita-kun.” She greeted as if it was a regular occurrence. Shirabu found himself inexplicably curious about Semi’s daily routine. 

“Reo-san,” Semi said in acknowledgement, smiling just as brightly as the waitress. “How are you?” 

“The same for the most part except it’s weirdly less busy,” She said, waving her hand in the air dismissively. “Though there was this one total creep. Which I would’ve told you all about, but I see you brought company.” She said, eyeing Shirabu from the corner of her eye. 

Shirabu felt weirdly nerve wrecked, strangely wanting to make a good impression on the stranger Semi was all too familiar with. “Kenjirou Shirabu,” He introduced himself, seeming a bit awkward and out of place. 

The woman’s face turned into one of amusement which made the younger male become bewildered. “Shirabu-kun, huh?” She murmured more to herself than at him, a glint of mischief in her eyes. She was quick to collect herself, though. “Well then boys, what would you like?” 

“The usual,” Semi said quickly, avoiding eye contact with the both of them. If Shirabu didn’t know any better, he would’ve assumed that Semi was _embarrassed_. But why? “For the both of us.” 

Reo-san, as Semi called her, didn’t need to write down whatever Semi ordered for the both of them, knowing exactly what he wanted, it seemed. Shirabu brushed off the exchange easily, not wanting to make assumptions to cause misunderstandings. Instead he looked back to his senpai who looked longingly out the window. Shirabu frowned. Surely his company wasn’t _that_ bad. 

“So, are you gonna tell me when you got arrested?” Shirabu asked, opting to start a conversation rather than sitting in absolute silence. 

Semi’s head instantly moved in Shirabu’s directions and an embarrassed smile danced on his lips. “Um...I was a 1st year,” Semi started, “Satori and Hayato dragged me to this party and I got really fucking drunk and then the cops came and well..” 

Shirabu looked at his senpai in half disgust and half astonishment. He opened his mouth to say something but shut up again, before finally letting out a, “Wow.” 

Semi shrugged. 

Just as he was about to make a snarky comment, his phone buzzed. He furrowed his eyebrows, as he reached down his pocket to get his phone. Of course it was Kawanishi. 

Shirabu sighed, picking up the call. “What?” 

“Hello to you too” The other replied, the faint noise of music from the party still playing. 

“What do you want?” 

“Firstly, you ditched me.” 

“No, you ditched me first and I got tired of waiting so I ditched you back. There’s a difference, Taichi.” 

“Whatever.” 

“So is that all you called me for?” 

“Well no.” 

“Then get on with it.”

“Stop being pissy.” 

“I’m not being pissy.” 

“Anyway, have you seen Semi-san?” His friend asked, and Shirabu glanced up to look at an amused Semi looking at him. 

Shirabu narrowed his eyes at the older male. “What do you want from Semi-san?” Semi’s amused stare turned into a curious one. 

“Tendou-san is looking for him.” Kawanishi explained, his voice as blank as ever. 

“And why is Tendou-san looking for him?” Shirabu asked, obviously trying to convey the message to Semi as well. Semi’s curious gaze turned into a sheepish one, as he brought his hand over to cover his mouth. Shirabu knew he was fighting back a laugh. He just didn’t know why. Yet. 

“Apparently Semi-san took Tendou-san’s debit card” 

“He did what?” Shirabu gaped at Semi, who by now gave up on trying to control or conceal his laughter as his head fell back and he started laughing hysterically. 

“Took Tendou-san’s debit card,” Kawanishi repeated dully before briefly pausing. “..he’s with you, isn’t he?” 

“I don’t-” 

“I can hear him laughing.” 

“Goodbye.” 

“Wait-” 

“Nope,” He said as he ended the call. He then looked at a laughing Semi. “You!” He said, pointing his finger at him. “Why the hell would you steal Tendou-san’s debit card?!” 

“How else are we supposed to pay?” Semi replied with a grin. 

“I hate you.” Shirabu mumbled, shaking his head in irritation. 

“Oh don’t worry, the feeling is very much mutual, Kenjirou.” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

* * *

**THREE**

Shirabu thought it was a good day - by Miyigi’s standards anyway. So realistically he thought it was the perfect opportunity to go on a walk with his dog. It was break. Therefore he was allowed to go back home to his parents. Therefore being with his dog again. He was content with life - mostly.

Being a second year had been stressful for Shirabu so far. He had an academic scholarship to withhold after all, and this year kept giving him more workload than should be humanly impossible for teenager to do - but he guesses that's Shiratorizawa for him. How was he going to survive his third year?

On top of that, he had become first string setter over his senpai, Semi - which was an achievement in itself, but alas that meant he had to maintain perfect performance in order to keep his position and plus more practicing with his spikers. 

But overall, Shirabu thought he was coping with everything rather well given the circumstances. Although this break had been greatly appreciated. 

Walking his dog, Cosmo, was a great opportunity to relax an clear his head from school (after all, all he could think about since coming back home was trigonometry, that analysis on his history essay that he could've written better and the stupid mitochondria). 

He had his earphones in, listening to a playlist his best friend, Kawanishi, made for him (because according to him _"Kenjirou, you're music taste is worse than my grandmother's and that's really saying something"_ ). Though even Shirabu had to admit that this playlist wasn't half bad (that was a big lie, the playlist was amazing but Shirabu would never admit that to Kawanishi, because that would mean swallowing down his pride and letting Kawanishi win, and that wasn't going to happen, because, _fuck Taichi)._

By now he had wandered further than his neighborhood but he was still very much familiar with his surroundings, having come here on multiple different occasions before. This area was more of less a commercial area rather than a neighborhood (or well a mix of both anyway) and Shirabu remembered a park nearby here.

Shirabu and Cosmos stood on the sidewalk, waiting for the traffic light to turn red so that they could pass. By now he had started humming along to the songs. 

The cars stopped and he took that as a cue to cross the road, but that's when it saw it. Saw him. He couldn't move a muscle and only stared as a certain ashe blonde crossed the road (well more like ran in their direction), while having the stupidest grin on his face (not that Shirabu would ever admit to finding it insanely adorable on the older male). 

All he could do in that moment was blink and stare at the older male, as he kneeled down and started petting Cosmo, paying no mind to Shirabu himself. Shirabu took off his earbuds. 

And then Semi finally looked up, and his smile was quick to turn into a frown as he looked into his grey eyes.

Shirabu gulped helplessly. Ever since Shirabu had taken Semi's place on the team as setter, there was no doubt about the heavy tension between them which had now grown more than it ever had. Despite Semi putting in his effort as being pinch server, perfecting his serve, Shirabu knew being replaced had left a sour taste in his mouth, especially considering Shirabu is his kouhai. 

_Shit_ , thought the copper haired boy.

"Shirabu." Semi breathed out, as he continued to blink up at the younger boy, who mirrored his actions. 

"Semi-san." He said (his reaction time terrible), sounding as bewildered as he felt. 

Then they paused. Before Semi spoke up again after a minute of silence. "I didn't know you had a dog." The ash blonde said, getting up. 

"Well, you never asked." Shirabu mumbled, eyes wide, now looking up to meet Semi's brown eyes. 

"Name?" Semi asked suddenly out of nowhere. Shirabu blinked in confusion. 

" _What_?"

"Your dog's name." Semi clarified. 

"Oh," Shirabu breathed out. "Cosmos," He said. "His name is Cosmos." 

Semi smiled, kneeling down again, petting Cosmos, saying something that Shirabu couldn't make himself listen to, his brain too bewildered. Cosmos wiggled his tail in happiness, and Shirabu thought _"Why does everyone love Semi so much?"._

Semi looked up at him again, and Shirabu's heart rate spiked looking at the smile (which he definitely did not hope was directed towards him). "Where are you headed?" 

"Uh, the park." Shirabu answered, looking towards the other road. 

"Well I'll have to inform you that the path to the park is blocked," Semi said and Shirabu looked at him in confusion. "I was going to the park as well, but there's something going on there, that they had to block the area."

"Oh." Shirabu said, frowning. He was hoping to walk Cosmos there and clear his head. 

"Unless you wanna go somewhere else, I can walk you home." Semi said standing up again. Shirabu knew he should've refused. He knew that and yet he still begrudgingly agreed. 

On the walk back to his house, Semi took out a pack of chips from the shopping bag in his hand. He offered Shirabu some. They walked to his house in silence, neither of them making any effort to making small talk - but they've never been one for small talk anyway. The tension between them that usually lingered in school felt like it wasn't there. Shirabu didn't want to admit it, but it was nice. Even though they didn't talk, there was a sense of security he felt as he walked home with Semi. 

Sometime during the walk, Semi asked him what he was listening to, and he gave him one of his earbuds. 

Maybe sharing chips, listening to music with Semi Eita and have him walk you home isn't as bad as Shirabu would've thought it would be.

Maybe.

* * *

**FOUR**

The aftermath of the spring high qualifier final was a blur. Shirabu remembered when the whistle blew. He remembered how his heart dropped. The unsettling in his stomach made him want to vomit. But all he could manage was a burst of tears instead. 

Shiratorizawa Academy lost to Karasuno High. That was reality. 

Shirabu was too in shock to even think about what would happen next. The only thoughts that ran through his head were “I failed” and “It was my fault”. He had never expected Shiratorizawa to lose. He didn’t. 

After the initial shock, things only got worse. Though he accepted that maybe it wasn’t all his fault - there was a nagging in the back of his mind, that told him that maybe he should’ve listened to Semi. Maybe Semi should’ve been playing setter instead of him. 

He knew the coach picked him over Semi for a reason. He knew and yet he kept beating himself about it. 

But he couldn’t let it show. Not when he was the new captain of Shiratorizawa - and oh it finally kicked in after Ushijima spoke to the team members individually. That was the third year's last game. They were leaving. He had to shoulder the responsibility of being Shiratorizawa’s captain. 

He could no longer stay in their ace’s shadow. He knew that and yet it took him way too long to understand that. 

Shiratorizawa Academy being beaten by the fallen champions was the topic of conversation for at least a month. Everyone was talking about it. People kept glancing at him. People kept talking about him. He knew. The more it happened the more he doubted his abilities. 

Everything changed. 

Shirabu had known that he would have to shoulder the burden of being captain of a powerhouse team. It happened sooner than he anticipated. The realization hit him during the team’s first practice without the third year’s.

He should’ve done better. 

He shouldn’t have been the first string setter instead of Semi. 

He should’ve listened to Semi. 

He should’ve been better. 

Those thoughts only got worse. And eventually he stopped hiding that the loss didn’t affect him. 

Three weeks after Shiratorizawa lost to Karasuno, Shirabu finally snapped.

It happened during lunch. He was walking with Kawanishi who talked about some show he watched.

Kawanishi who was usually quiet and reserved didn’t speak much. But lately Shirabu had become scarily quiet. He only spoke when addressed to directly and only in short replies. Everyone noticed. He knew that. He just didn’t care anymore. 

Kawanishi started talking so there wasn’t silence. Silence started becoming unbearable. The more that silence lingered, the more he tore himself apart internally. He could see that Kawanishi had noticed. It was hard not to. 

Shirabu didn’t pay enough attention to what Kawanishi was saying - not really, but it was distracting. Distracting enough for him not to have a breakdown. 

For that he was thankful. 

It was when they were walking through the first year building (aimlessly wandering if anything), when he heard chatter that was caught his attention. Shirabu stopped dead in his tracks. 

"Honestly, our third years this were weak anyway, it was their fault we lost Karasuno."

"Yeah, only Ushijima-san even contributed to anything." 

Shirabu didn't know what took over him but he was furious. No one disrespects the third years. Not after all their efforts. Without them Shiratorizawa wouldn't have gone to nationals so many times. He walked over to he two guys standing against the doorframe of a classroom. He could hear Kawanishi calling after him, but in that moment he didn't care. 

"What did you say about our third years?" He asked, his voice laced with venom. 

The two kids looked up to him surprised. The kid with the short brown hair, his eyes widened and it was evident he recognized who he was. His friend however played arrogant. 

"That they sucked. Why? What do you want?" He said. 

"Oh yeah? They sucked did they?" Shirabu challenged, taking a step closer to the boy. "Why don't you play against Karasuno, huh?" 

"Oh maybe I will. I'd be better than those losers anyway." 

Shirabu was furious. He was about to throw his fist into the guy's face (hopefully break a few bones), but that's strong hands grabbed him, pulling him from the ground and onto a shoulder. 

"What the hell?" He shouted. By now a scene had definitely been created and a crowd had gathered. Whoever had picked up Shirabu was taking him away from the crowd, alas all eyes were on them. Shirabu turned his head, only to see the culprit's ash blonde hair. _Oh_. 

"Calm down, Shirabu." Semi murmured softly. 

Shirabu didn't exactly calm down, but he cooled off quite a bit and stopped screaming as Semi took him to an empty classroom, finally putting him down on the ground. 

"What the fu-" 

"No, don't 'what the fuck' me, Shirabu Kenjirou!" Semi yelled. Shirabu blinked in surprise. Semi was pissed off. Very pissed off, if the redness on his face and the scowl on his face was anything to go by. Semi always prided himself on not losing his cool. "What the fuck were you doing picking a fight with a first year?!" 

"I-" 

"No actually it doesn't matter, because if I wasn't there and if Kawanishi hadn't called me, you'd have been expelled from this school," Semi said. "You're the captain of the volleyball club, Kenjirou, act like it! Don't go around doing stupid shit like this!" 

"I know dammit!" Shirabu yelled. 

Semi raised an eyebrow, unamused. "Oh yeah?" 

Shirabu covers his face with his hands. "Yes! I do!" He shouts, before pulling his hands away. "I-I...I'm trying okay! I'm trying to be captain! I'm trying even though I shouldn't be captain, not after how I played at the match against Karasuno. Not after I made that your last match! Okay! I can't do it! I don't deserve it!" 

Semi's face softens. "Shirabu-"

"It should've been you playing instead of me. You wouldn't have let Karasuno win!" 

"Shira-" 

"I wasn't good enough! I-I should've done better..." 

"Dammit, Shirabu!" Semi yelled, with his fingers on his temples. Shirabu blinked. "You didn't make the team lose, we underestimated Karasuno, so stop beating yourself up for something that isn't your fault!"

Shirabu opened his mouth to differ, but Semi beat him to it. "There's six players on a court, Shirabu, every person contributes to a victory or loss!" He said. "Coach chose you instead of me for a reason. He chose you because you were good enough. You are good enough. And making you captain isn't a mistake, because we know you can do it. So shut up and don't beat yourself over things like losing and focus on beating Karasuno next year"

He stared at the ash blonde in awe. 

Semi sighed, stepping forward, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Kenjirou." He said softly. 

The next few minutes were a blur. Semi left and Shirabu was left there with a red face (not really sure why), as he tried to process what had happened. Kawanishi found him a minute after Semi left. It took another hour for Shirabu to process what happened, before he screamed in frustration. Semi's idea of a pep talk was terrible. But it worked nonetheless. 

Shirabu felt lighter after that. 

* * *

**FIVE**

Shirabu sighed as coach dismissed them from practice. Two weeks before inter high and training kept getting intense. Now that Shirabu was captain, he had even more responsibilities to deal with. Even if Kawanishi was Vice Captain and helped him with many things, he was still Captain and being Captain came with a set of responsibilities and duties even the Vice Captain couldn't do. 

Coach had become even more irritable towards Shirabu recently and Shirabu felt mentally exhausted from all his scolding. He had understood what he was doing wrong and was trying to improve in that area. He didn't need coach at his throat every two minutes telling him where he went wrong. He was trying his best. 

School academically wasn't doing him any favors either. Being in college prep classes was not only time consuming and tiring, but also harder than he thought it would be.

He just wanted a break. 

He didn't go to the locker room or the showers to change, which earned him a concerned glance from Kawanishi. He waved him off, telling him he was tired and would change in their dorm - which was true. He just wanted to lie down in his bed before changing. Today's practice had been hell (which was to be expected since Inter High was coming up, but still), and he just wanted to pass out for a few hours, _fuck homework_. 

Still in his practice kit, Shirabu started walking to the third year dormitories. But then the realization that he had to get his Japanese literature test from his teacher hit him. Sighing, he turned around, and ran towards his classroom, where his teacher said she'd wait for him after practice to tell him his mistakes. 

He ran up the stairs, ignoring the glances he got from the students still in the building. 

When he arrived at his classroom, his teacher was nowhere in sight.

Shirabu groaned in frustration and almost threw something at the teacher's desk. This day couldn't possibly get any worse.

He decided he wasn't going to do anything except go to his room and crash even if a teacher called him in the hallway. With every step he took, he could feel his already sore body feel even more sore and suddenly he cursed at himself for not taking a hot shower. Alas he couldn't do anything about that now. 

He wondered how Ushijima handled being captain and being a student, as he walked down the stairs. 

Too lost in thought, he doesn't realize his shoelaces are untied, causing him to step on them. He doesn't register he's fallen off the stairs until he's on the floor, all his weight on his right foot. Tears form in his eyes before the pain even properly registered. And then the next few seconds were a blur, but he was acutely aware of someone's presence next to him, saying something. 

He blinked through the tears, trying to properly hear what the other person is saying. Through his tears he saw Semi Eita looking at him. "Are you okay?" 

Shirabu couldn't respond, but Semi took that as answer enough, instantly scooping him up in his arms. His foot really hurt like a bitch. All he could do was sob into Semi's shirt, as he took him to the infirmary. 

In the infirmary, the nurse took a look at his foot, as he continued to cry, Semi by his side, squeezing his hand reassuringly. According to the nurse he had fractured his foot. He was given painkillers and a doctor came to check up on him. A cast was put on his foot, and he was given crunches. 

He remained on the bed, as Semi sat beside him, listening intently to what the doctor was saying, his hand still in Shirabu's. Shirabu's stomach fluttered. 

(He would never admit to the redness on his cheeks, opting to say it was because of his crying instead.)

When the doctor finally went away, Semi looked at him, eyes filled with concern. In that moment, Shirabu thought: _I really want to kiss you right now_ , as he looked into Semi's eyes.

"Are you going to be alright?" Semi asked. 

"I- um yeah," Shirabu said, nodding at Semi's question, shaking off his thoughts.

Semi seemed to relax at that, the tension in his shoulders fading away and his mouth curling up into a warm smile. "I came to see the new team. I didn't expect the captain to fall down the stairs in front of me." Semi said lightheartedly. 

Shirabu snorted. "Well thanks for coming and saving my ass." 

"Well," Semi started, his smile growing. "Can I sign your cast?" 

That's when Shirabu noticed the markers in Semi's lap - apparently that was what the nurse had given him in secret. "Uh sure."

Semi smiled even brighter at that, uncapping one of the markers (a purple one) and started writing something on his cast. He had his tongue out the way he always had it before he served (just the way Shirabu liked it). Even in the shitty infirmary lighting, Semi looked liked an angel, as he glowed under the light. Shirabu's heart skipped a beat as Semi held his leg. 

And then, _oh_. The realization dawned to him, that he didn't want Semi to leave. Not now, not ever. He finally realized why he felt a pit in his stomach during Semi's graduation. He finally realized why he felt his stomach churn whenever Semi did something nice for him. Shirabu swore that he's not a dense guy, but in that moment he realized, he really fucking liked Semi Eita and it's way more than physical attraction. 

_I really want to kiss you right now_ , he thought again, biting his bottom lip, looking at Semi with adoration he never thought he'd feel towards someone. 

"There," Semi said, leaning back, capping the marker again. "All done."

Shirabu leaned in a bit, trying to read what Semi wrote. 

_**"Get better soon xx - Semi <3" **_

Shirabu almost gave into the temptation to kiss Semi right there and then. 

* * *

**\+ ONE**

Shirabu looked at his phone. It was 1 PM on a Sunday. He was walking, on his way to Semi's university, with a bunch of flowers in hand. Truthfully, he didn't want to go. But after admitting to Kawanishi that he did in fact like his upper classman and didn't know what to do, his best friend told him that he already knew (that everyone except for Semi probably knew), causing him to flush and plan his own death.

But Kawanishi assured him that despite Semi not knowing, Semi did in fact like him back. When Shirabu countered that with a "No way in hell", Kawanishi slapped him on the head, telling him that if he didn't he wouldn't have treated him the way he did and would've been done with his shit. Shirabu said that that didn't make sense because other people were nice to him too. Kawanishi said and he quotes "You don't passive aggressively insult other people and take their position". _Touche_. 

He had asked Tendou for Semi's schedule. Tendou already knew why (it was evident at how urgently Shirabu wanted it), but still had the audacity to ask why. Shirabu told him to fuck off and ended the call, but in under a minute, Semi's schedule was sent to him by Tendou. 

He was going to confess to Semi Eita. 

Why? Because he didn't know what else to do with his feelings and the temptation to kiss Semi was getting sort of out of hand. 

But even then he was ready to ignore his feelings until they went away. Again, Kawanishi slapped him on the head and forced him to - as if he himself had the balls to confess to Goshiki in the first place. _Fucking hypocrite_. But even then, he was on his way to Semi's campus, his nerves aflame. 

In another two minutes, he was in front of the school's dormitories. Shirabu took a deep breath, as he stepped into the building. He knew Semi's dorm was on the second floor and which number it was (courtesy of Tendou). With each step he took, he felt his heart pound rapidly. _Holy shit_ he was going to tell Semi he's had a crush on him for three years and he had just realized it. 

When he he got off the elevator, he felt out of place with the flowers in hand, as he walked by a few people on his way to Semi's dorm. 

He sighed as he stood in front of the door. It was now or never. He knocked on the door three times. He bit his bottom lip in anticipation as he waited for someone to answer the door. He heard faint noises from inside, only causing his heart to race even more. But then the door opened revealing a rather handsome stranger (but he was no Semi), looking at him with a rather confused expression. 

"Uh, I'm looking for Se-" He started, only to be cut off by someone bumping into Shirabu (rather hard might he add), hard enough to cause him to fall down. "-mi." He finished as he fell with eyes wide. 

The stranger seemed to have moved just in time, staring at him bewildered, before looking behind, saying a quick, "I'll be out" before heading out. Still on the ground with his dignity lost, Shirabu looked up to see a very confused looking Semi blinking at him. Shirabu mirrored the expression. 

"Isn't this how we first met." Semi said, still blinking at him. And then Shirabu realized, _it is_ , but it was Semi who fell instead. 

"Um, can you help me up." He mumbled, the flowers in his hands now ruined and on the floor. 

Semi didn't say anything, but did offer his hand. Shirabu took it gladly, but then Semi pulled a little too harshly, causing Shirabu to tumble as he was getting up, landing right on Semi's chest, as shoulders as support. Shirabu looked up at Semi, blinking rapidly. He knew the blush he wore was very much visible. This was not how he expected things to go. Semi looked at him with half lidded eyes. 

"You know," Semi started, his voice sounding breathless. "When the second years first came...I saw you and you looked so cute that I didn't even realize my laces were untied." Semi admitted, a small blush dusting his cheeks. 

Shirabu looked into his eyes and bit his lip. Fuck, Semi cannot say things like that and not expect him to melt. They remained in silence until Shirabu decided to speak up. "...I thought you were...hot." He murmured, breaking eye contact. "I still do."

"Fuck," Semi murmured. "Can I kiss you, Kenjirou?" He asked and Shirabu's heart skipped a beat and his stomach fluttered and he almost _whined_.

He gulped. "Please." 

Semi didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed the back of Shirabu's head, pushing him slightly up, pressing his lips against his. Shirabu's squeaks in surprise and his eyes widen. Semi must've sensed his inexperience and went slower so that he could adjust to all the different sensations. But despite the slow pace, there was nothing gentle about the kiss. It was still urgent, still felt like everything would fade if they pulled away. Shirabu thought it was appropriate to compare kissing to breathing. 

Shirabu felt like he was on cloud nine. This was better than hugging Semi, _for sure._

This was better than he expected this day to go. 

As soon as Shirabu had gotten comfortable enough, snaking his arms around Semi's neck, Semi didn't waste any time, using one hand to close the door, pushing Shirabu on it. 

Shirabu gasped as he was pushed on the hard surface, pulling away from Semi, but the ash blonde connected their mouths again, swiping his tongue against Shirabu's bottom lip. Shirabu let out a noise which embarrassingly sounded like a moan. If Semi was even a little bit gentle before, he wasn't now. It was rough, hot and really, really needy, all hands on hair, teeth on lips and soft sounds. He didn't want it to stop. 

Semi and Shirabu weren't soft. They weren't gentle. This was them. It was as close to perfect as they could get. 

When they pulled away, Shirabu sighed. He looked up to Semi who was supporting a flush similar to Shirabu's. Not only that, his lips were swollen and Shirabu felt a sense of pride knowing it was because of him. 

And then Shirabu remembered his purpose for even being here. 

"I like you." He breathed out. 

Semi huffed out a laugh, causing Shirabu to smile softly. "We just made out. I thought we already established that." 

"Yeah whatever." He said rolling his eyes, but his smile didn't waver. 

"I just woke up," Semi confesses. "I didn't expect an angle banged bitch to show up at my doorstep with flowers, falling for me and making out with me." Semi said with a goofy smile. 

"Oh, so you're calling me a bitch now?" He asked, faking an offended look. 

"I don't know," Semi shrugged, pecking him on the lips before he could react, before pulling away and walking away. Shirabu stared at him astonished and Semi only grinned. "But anyway, I'm tired as fuck, so if you wanna..." 

It was Shirabu's turn to grin, as Semi sheepishly looked away. "Semi Eita, are you asking me to sleep with you?" 

"Well," Semi starts, turning around, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I'm not opposed to fucking, but only after I sleep." 

"Ushijima-san, would be disappointed in you, right now," He said, shaking his head in irritation, but there was a blush on his face nonetheless. "Give me some clothes, and sure." He added, because sleeping in jeans was not exactly what someone would call comfortable. 

"We haven't even been dating for a day and you're already asking for my clothes? My my, Kenjirou." Shirabu's heart skipped a beat. 

"Oh? We're dating now? I never consented to such a thing, Semi-san." 

"You're such a brat."

"You wouldn't like me any other way, Eita." He said jokingly, the ash blonde's first name rolling off his tongue naturally - which was a given considering how he called him that in his thoughts and daydreams. 

"Yeah." Semi agreed.

_I love you so much_ , Shirabu thought. But that was something to confess later on. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> ONLY MY TWITTER FOLLOWERS KNOW THE PAIN I WENT THROUGH WHILE WRITING THIS. IT WAS ACTUAL HELL WRITING THIS AND WHEN I FINALLY FINISHED I WAS SO HAPPY. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this shit piece I wrote because I spent way too much time on this lmao. 
> 
> Also I'm betting a hundred bucks that the person who pushed Shirabu in Semi's dorm was Tendou. 
> 
> Here's my **[Twitter](https://twitter.com/ashxtodd)** and **[Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ashxtodd)**


End file.
